august really did slip away into a moment in time, as the oracle taylor swift once foretold!!! i hate to be one of those people who’s overeager to announce the arrival of fall but i can’t help it - the ‘ber months (september, october, november, december) are where i thrive.
i haven’t really mastered the art of the instagram dump - i’m amazing at insta stories but i haven’t posted to feed since Literally May - but i wanted to recap summer in some way before she sips away like a bottle of wine. i hope you’ll accept this offering, the messy rundown of What I Did and What I Pondered This Summer:
in late june i spent a glorious five days in boston, the furthest north i’ve ever been, and i was so charmed by it. i waded into the ice-cold northern atlantic, traipsed through the isabella stewart gardner museum, delighted in the experience of decent public transit, and listened to “ladies of cambridge” no less than 5 times on both my arriving and departing flights. i ate some of the best food i’ve ever had and got to gab and gallivant with a few of the people i love most in this life. i can’t wait to make my return to the east coast. overall a stunning trip cosplaying as a coastal elite! (i like to joke that i’m also a coastal elite, i just live on the gulf coast. this is funny to me and only me.)
after boston, after taking another writing class where i was the only person from texas, more and more lately i’m dreaming of moving to a place where Writers Live, like new york or london. i’ve bitched about moving back to texas nonstop since i returned over three years ago, but i’m mature enough now to admit i like the creature comforts texas affords me — things like relatively cheap rent and HEB bakery tortillas. i’m constantly pro-conning in my head. pro: i’m grateful to be near my family. i’m also grateful to not be writing about the same new york bars as everyone else. con: i wanna be where the people are! pro: i dont have to fight as many people in the ticketmaster queue. con: but it is also hot and mosquito infested and after experiencing my first hurricane i realized i am beyond unprepared for disaster. maybe i’ll just stick a random pin in my astrocartography reading from daniela aka the cosmic latte. watch this space?
on a lighter note, we’ve been fed with fabulous new music - brat and charm are both in my bloodstream at this point, drip intravenous, and the joint sabrina carpenter / fontaines dc album release this past week felt tailor-made for me. i’ve also been re-discovering beloved songs from my past with new ears. some of my recent gems from the archives: drunk girls by lcd soundsystem, when did your heart go missing by rooney, instant crush by daft punk ft julian casablancas, macchu picchu by the strokes, and she is love by oasis (congrats on getting back together boys). it’s bad for my brand to admit this but (some) straight men make amazing music.
a small addendum: for me the true first day of fall is when i listen to i follow rivers by lykke li which is the perfect witchy spooky scorpionic banger. when you see it on my insta story, you’ll know it’s Time.
i got my first passport in the mail a few weeks ago and i’m leaving the country for the first time in october. i have spent my entire life up to this point being embarrassed that i’ve never left the country and being frothingly jealous of anyone who has, but now i’m old enough to realize 1.) traveling is so expensive 2.) i can really appreciate it now. i will be making this mexico city trip my entire personality for the next two months and probably the two months after i get back as well. this is your warning.
it’s been a little over a month since i moved into a new apartment and i’m finally starting to settle in. i sleep well when i’m disciplined enough to put my book down and my neighbors are kind and i know my new commute by heart. the place is still in a little bit of disarray, which is upsetting my earth sign placements (capricorn moon and rising / virgo mars if you were wondering) but it’s mine and it’s comfortable and the exciting novelty hasn’t worn off yet.
my new place is better in pretty much every way, but i’m still hanging onto the fact that my last apartment was my first big-girl apartment, where i learned what living by myself and by my own rules was like. as i’m setting up my new place, i find myself wishing i had taken photos of my old apartment as it was, one last time. the first time i went to the MFAH, i fell in love with this frank stella painting that’s roughly the size of a metro bus. the colors are sumptuous and perfectly chosen, but i can never take a good picture of it. i scoured the internet to see if someone else has managed to take a decent one and no one has been able to capture its vibrance and enormity. i bought a postcard of it and it’s good enough, but best seen in person. i think that’s how i’ll have to treat the experience of my first “big girl” apartment. so much happened there that nothing will be able to fully explain or summarize it. all i can do is take my souvenirs and alchemize them into this new journey.
i’m trying to practice gratitude more and i’m trying to be more unflinchingly honest in my life and in my writing so i’ll say this: i think the big takeaway from the last few months is that i am both grateful and dissatisfied. i don’t want to be clawing for more or better in a way that clouds the joy of the present moment but i also don’t want to snuff out the flame of my ambition. i am holding all of these ideas at once, a bouquet of my raw, human contradictions. smells delicious.
one more small thing: i go the same coffee place next door to my office every week and i experienced my first “iced vanilla latte with oat milk, right?” on thursday and i think it’s the perfect metaphor for the embarrassing but rewarding ordeal of being known.
giggling at gulf coastal elite, craving HEB bakery tortillas, and in awe of your human contradictions!
Happy to hear your first trip outside of the country will be CDMX! If you need some recs from locals, send me a message! 💛✨